Act I: The Pragmatic Bro
I never worked the door at a college bar. I always got carded — even when I was older. Some nights, depending on what I wore, I got right in. Other nights, I stood outside waiting for friends who were "five minutes away" (forty-five minutes ago), passing the time, people-watching with a phone at 2% battery. Same movie played out night after night.
Guys lining up...
Prologue: The Circus Arrives in Town
Let us begin with a confession.
I have spent exactly forty-seven minutes of my life reading comment sections about a twenty-year-old rich girl's body. Forty-seven minutes I will never get back. Minutes that could have been spent learning a language, calling my mother, or simply staring at a wall in peaceful silence. Instead, I was waist-deep in the digital...
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